Two nights after the show wipeout had aired, I remember the phone ringing in a different room and I rushed to go answer it. When I got to my phone I looked at the caller ID and it said restricted. Now normally I don’t pick up restricted phone calls, but with the TV show just airing, I thought maybe it was family. Boy could I have been further from that when I answered the call. I answered and a woman’s voice comes across. “Nick! Oh my god I just saw you on TV. Bet your ego is even bigger now!” This voice was none other than my ex girlfriends voice. Not only did I not want to talk to her, but yet felt myself going straight into a flashback of what had happened the week before chemotherapy.
March 2007
Feeling empty inside and alone in a cold house by myself, I needed to reach out to someone who my heart belonged to. My so-called girlfriend at the time was know where to be found and would not answer any of my phone calls or text messages. I needed her to be there for me and give me strength to fight through love and compassion. When I finally got a hold of her later that night, I found out that she was right down the street from me at her girlfriends house. I asked her why she wouldn’t call me back to at least acknowledge my existence and show me some empathy at least for what I was about to go through. She straight up told me this: “The world isn’t always about you Nick! I have friends and they need me more than you right now.” I was absolutely crushed when I heard this! I hung up the phone and began to break down yelling out curse words at anyone that crossed my path. At that time I wanted nothing else but to die and be done with it.
My mother came home to find me curled up in a ball crying and shaking. She starting freaking out thinking I was sick and needed to go to the hospital. I told her to calm down, then started to explain what events had unfolded during the day with my girlfriend. She was totally shocked with the way my girlfriend was treating me and making me feel in this desperate time of need. My mother had become my counselor for the next few hours, and of course as I settle down my girlfriend decides to make an appearance.
My doorbell rang and my step dad answered the door. Immediately I heard arguing and the voice of my girlfriend pierced my ears. My step dad told her in a nice way to take a hike, but of course being me I chased after her. Running to the front door I called her name begging her to stop and talk to me. She did just that, but with a very mean look. I asked her why she was being so rude and what I did wrong to deserve this treatment. She said, “I don’t want this drama in my life, and it would be better if I just cut you out of it.” Again I started to cry, but she showed no mercy on my heart. She continued with,” My friends are waiting for me and if you don’t mind I have better things to do!” After I heard that I completely snapped and began to yell at her, saying whatever came into my mind. Once I was done venting she decided to take a very low blow and say something that would affect me for the rest of my life. “I hope the cancer fucking kills you! So I don’t have to deal with your shit anymore.” Shocked that I just heard those words come out of her mouth, I stood their jaw dropped with every ounce of breath taken from my body. At this time, my neighbor came to my defense that had been listening in on the conversation from her front patio. She came rushing over telling me to go inside the house and then quickly screaming at my now ex girlfriend to leave and never show her face again. As I walked inside I heard voices arguing away outside, but I started to tune out and slowly closed my bedroom door. The battle for my life just got that much harder at this point, and felt like I needed a miracle. I crawled into my bed, starred at the ceiling and cried myself to sleep.
Snap back to reality..
Obviously I was shocked to hear from her, but how ironic for her to call after I was aired on TV. But even after the years had passed, she sounded and acted the same as the last time I talk to her. But seeing that I was in a totally new mind frame and up for giving second chances, I agreed to meet her for drinks later on in the week. Was this a good move? What was about to happen at our little meeting was not expected nor did I ever think would ever happen.
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Cancer Is My Reality 
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