(4) Start of a Falling Brick

Sitting in my room, I found myself staring at my surreal imaginary brick wall and feeling a single emotional emptiness.  Watching the one brick fall heavily to the ground, I started to feel the crack form bigger and stronger through the middle of my heart.  This was my first time I have ever been heart broken, and truly felt like my best friend turned her back and walked away. Suddenly my mind was moving so fast that I found myself pressing the rewind button in my memory vault.

Senior prom, 2002

One week away from my high school senior prom and still had yet to find a care or a date to go with. I felt as if I did not need to go because I was not really into the whole school thing and also knowing that all my close friends didn’t even go to the same school.  My mother approached me one day when I got home from class and drilled right in, to ask why I would not go. I gave her my reasons and excuses, but she still did not budge.  Listening closely to what she had to say about the importance and the regrets I would have if I did not attend made me change my mind.  At that point I stopped and looked at my mother and said, “shit! It’s less than a week away, how am I going to find a date”.  Little time passes and the idea came up “what about Robyn?”  This was my old neighbor that was a grade behind me and I said sure I will give her a try. Robyn agreed to my offer when I called later that day and the date was set.

Prom night was no fluke but yet fate playing its hand in my life.  I felt like as if I was in a Hollywood movie and as we danced together the fireworks were going off in the background. Every touch by her hand felt like a soft angel’s touch and her eyes pierced right into my heart as if it was cupid’s arrow. Never did I think love at first sight was real, until this night. The event was coming to an end fast, my time was running short, and do I kiss her now or wait for another day? So many crazy emotions racing through my body like a racehorse trying to reach the finish.  The dance was over and we jumped into our limo to drive home. As we started to take off I found Robyn holding my hand and staring deeply at me with a huge smile. Are eyes felt like they were locked together and the car ride was only a few seconds long.  As we step out of the limo and slowly make way towards her door, I told myself to open up and go for the kiss.  We came to a stop, I looked at her and said, “ I was a lucky guy to have gone with such a beautiful girl”, and then I leaned in to kiss her.  For some reason the kiss felt as if it was the first time I had ever done it, and all my self-doubt was gone. We pulled away from each other and said goodnight. As I was walking down the path back to the limo, she called to me and asked if she could see me the next day. Of course I replied with a “definitely”!

This night seems to constantly replay in my subconscious and I am unable to turn it of. I wished this fairy tale night could have turned into a happy ending like a Disney movie, but in the path of my life it does not.  This was the start to a horrible ending.