(16) Drop dead Fred!

Music was filling the air, girls dancing all around me and I was a cancer survivor with a new mission in life. Even though I was changing myself inside and out, I forgot that others would not change around me. So here I am walking around this nightclub with my friends enjoying the night, when I get this sudden grab to my right shoulder. I turn around, and there Fred is with a big shit-eating grin on his face and the smell of cheap vodka as he opened his mouth to talk to me. At first I was expecting him to say something like “I haven’t seen you in a long time”, or “dang speed bump, you have grown”. This guy thought making fun of me was cool amongst our old friends, which is why I’m no longer friend’s with this person.  But I think I would have much rather him make fun of me than the comment he was about to make. Conversation went a little like this:

Fred: Speed bump…

Me: Oh hey Fred how you been?

Fred: Wow I’m really surprised!

Me: Surprised about what?

Fred: That you’re still alive! Thought the cancer would have killed you by now.

Me: Wow Fred, can tell you…

Before I could even get out another word, two of my very close friends pulled me back and stepped right in front of Fred’s face.  I was in complete shock that someone could say something like that, and also the fact at what had happened prior to this night with Karen. All I know is that at this moment I felt like I was in slow motion walking toward the back of the building, while behind me there was loud arguing going on followed by punches thrown by my friends. This all seemed surreal to me, like a scene out of a blockbuster movie. I found myself sitting in a chair crouched down with my hands on my head and a few tears slowly rolling down my cheeks.

Now some would say, why is this guy crying at a nightclub? But I don’t think anyone that has not gone through what I have could understand that feeling of emptiness that had just been brought upon me. The fact that someone could be so heartless and say something of this nature to a person that fought very hard for his life.

Like an angel from heaven, this woman sat in front of me and gently put her hands on my knees. I looked up and made eye contact, and had no idea who she was. She calmly said, “Forget about that guy! Remember all of the positive people and memories in your life that helped you beat this disease and forget about the rude and negative insensitive ones. If you need someone to talk to I will gladly step outside and talk with you.” At this point I thought to myself that this woman was an absolute sweetheart, and that there are people out there that really do care.

So what positive memories and people did I have that helped me beat this disease and live to see another day? As soon as I got home and into my room, I found myself hitting the rewind button once again, but this time it was a pleasant trip down memory lane.


  1. Wow. Isn’t that life… we are not always met with the love we deserve. Love to you, Nick, for making up for such ugliness with beautiful words and deeds! Xo

  2. It’s a fine balance between loving with your heart open and believing in people like your female friend, and untrusting anyone. To love alive is to live with your heart open I perceive. Great post, and i’m Honored to hear this.
    Live to Love
    Love to Live

  3. I guess if you have to work it s about having quality rather than quantity in your time with your children.

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