(7) Off with the blindfold!

Hollywood was like the candy store I had never been to with so many different rooms and candies to taste. I didn’t know were to start or how to go about paving my path through this new adventure I was embarking on. All of the people I met and the things they invited me to whether it be parties, clubs or events, I could not get enough of what I was experiencing.

The night that I lost sight of what I was doing in my life might come as a bit of a shock to few, but others might have known this was coming.

The phone rang from a recent person that I had befriended to come out to this house party in the valley. Of course with out any hesitation or thought I accepted the invite and began to get ready. Not knowing what this party was about or the people that were there, all I knew is that this was just another epic night I would be able to put in the books of my spontaneous adventures.  I was picked up around ten o’clock at night and headed towards this house party with a road soda in hand, the music blaring and the car filled with friends. As we got to the house I was already a bit buzzed and couldn’t wait to get in there and meet a bunch of new people, but boy I was not ready for the people I was about to meet.  Walking into the house and making my way to the backyard through all these people, I started to notice that this was not just your average house party people go to just to have a drink and social gathering, but yet a porn industry party. I glanced into the backyard and saw numerous naked women and men partying it up, swimming in the pool and a few having sex on a patio lawn chair. This is when I started thinking to myself what the heck am I doing and what did I get myself into. With this entire situation going on around me, I thought the best way to mask the problem was to drink my way into an un-memorable state of mind. Drink after drink the problems I had with being there began to vanish and the fun started to kick in. Conversations I got involved in were strange topics and things I had never talked about publicly before. Like sex positions, fantasies and other topics that I just sat there with a blank face wondering where these people had come from, or things in the past to make them who they are today. Most of the conversations were pointless and down right sick, but I really had no idea and kept laughing and joking along with everyone so I wouldn’t be “that guy” at a party. I finally excused myself from the conversation to go and use the restroom, but mainly to just get away and take a breather. As I got to the restroom door I opened it and was shocked once I opened the door. There was a couple in the bathroom having sex, but not your typical love making because at the same time they were doing this they were also tattooing each other! This is the point when I finally stopped to think about what I was doing and why I was here at this party. The night carried on and I still proceeded to drink more. Girls and more girls were giving me all this attention and I ate it all up.  At the end of the night I had a few new numbers and more invitations to future parties. My memory was very spotty that night as I went to bed trying to remember all the things I talked about and did while I was there.

The next morning I woke up with a massive hangover and a voicemail from my mom asking me to call here as soon as possible, along with a few from my close friends. So hearing all these urgent voicemails, I knew that either something happened to someone or I did something wrong. First person on my list to call was a close friend of mine and boy did I get an ear full, from what the hell am I doing to, did you know pictures are up on the internet of myself doing things that were not looked upon as being the person everyone thought I was. So I immediately went to the Internet and hopped on MySpace to see what my buddy was talking about, and when I saw the first picture of myself posted my heart dropped to the ground. There were pictures of me making out with girls, watching people having sex, to people doing drugs.  My memory started to come back really fast and these pictures filled in the blurry blanks from the night before. This was by far the lowest point I had reached since becoming a survivor, and knew that this was not the right path I should be traveling down. I was given a second chance at life and here I was wasting it doing dumb as shit like this. Not only did I feel like I had been letting myself down but most importantly my family.

The phone call home to my mom was not easy for me, as now I knew why it was so urgent for me to call home. I remember the first words that came out of my mom’s mouth, “what the hell are you thinking! You are smarter than this”.  After a short conversation that felt like an eternity long, I hung up the phone and was packing a bag to head home for the weekend. This little weekend trip that I was taking home was going to be a little bit of a break from my high-speed life in Los Angeles, or so I thought. I wasn’t going home to a warm welcome but yet an Intervention.

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